Brandon's Blog Zone

Is it coincidence , or connection
That it just so happens to be the first time in a long time for many things related to you. You write and say you can’t communicate, and I am the same, but the impression left by you ripples through my now stagnant mind. It’s impressive I must acknowledge ,to be that magnetic. But for some reason when in conversation I feel like the words we use are not saying what’s on the mind but comprehension is solidified through these hazzy eyes. I’m crazy , but crazy about you. How out of complete randomness a connection can be revitalized, not virtualized. Your pulled to my thoughts like I haven’t experienced and it’s good. Trust me I’m not trying to emphasize to hyperbolize these unclear things inside my mind but you have come and polarized my brighter side and hypnotized me with those indigo eyes. And I know that things aren’t right for the times not on our side. But I see qualities that we share that I thought was just me, but then again how do I even know who that is. It will be fun , is all I can think but I will take anything I can
The selfish understood man
But slowly I think a shift will come about and one way or another I will get you, I think even you know it’s true, and your conviction tells you not to but it can’t be denied , revised, high-lighted or paralyzed , so I understand just as much as I think you know that I’m writing this right now. But the cards will fall to fate would see them, it will be “them”
Or like I proclaimed before I’m just being the crazy me I see and nothing is as it seems but between you and he, this will not be seen.

I have been positively impacted by your impromptu randezvous and I can only hope for more

“You are what you love, not who loves you” - fall out boy

It was really a great time. I didn’t think that out of all the wildest of things to happen to me, I would have a chance of seeing her again. Someone else but someone familiar. And for the first time in a while a can say I have been “distracted” for the past 48 hours and it has done alot of good. I am starting to see things the way they were before. And I am happy, I can actually get tongue tied and terrified at the same time. Wondering why this could be
How this could happen to me
What are you going to do with this opportunity
It’s a second wind, a double take
Just don’t wind up making a mistake
Or this could be it, my misstep for sure
If she were to ever read this she wouldn’t even talk to me anymore
But more and more I think that it needs to be written down because I can’t say what I want to say
And maybe it’s good
It’s change at least
And isn’t that the thing you have been trying to seek?
So maybe it’s a game
Maybe it’s real
But I still won’t be able to speech
The exact words on my mind
But someday soon, maybe the full moon will help me speak the truth.
~~~~~~
I still don’t know what I’m trying to fool myself into
Extraordinary isnt for you
Because your not see through
Cold and calculating
Thinking , waiting patiently
Feeling unrelatable except
By her appealing
To a sleeping side of me
But maybe this is that side you see
Through this pen it awakes again
Feeling something different
Than I have in a long time
These are for me though so don’t forget to not get crushed under the “has beens” because nothing is guarantee
At least that’s what she said to me
Don’t you remember what could have been?

sometimes this shit it you know it can just get to me

like underneath my eyelids for only me to see

its time that i get it back

every little bit of me left in this city

and i cant think about a thing anymore

you should now better

everything may just be ment to be

but everything we had is “not for me”

because to see is one thing above

but my blindness lifted

to see the true side of things

and to be completely honest is isnt what it was in my head

and thats the crazy thing is that i didnt even skip a beat

just kept listening

to whatever days CD

with you next to me

while you slowly crept away

into the shifty shadows

and foolish me it happened again and again

one too many times for me to care

with a brittle heart to spare

isnt this what you wanted?

for me to hold my soul to bare

i promise we are playing for keeps

so tell me what the fuck to do please?

so put a bullet through my chest

and watch the blood spill on this page

didn’t you wanna see what runs through

 my veins?

isnt this what you wanted?

for me to hold my soul to bare

i promise we are playing for keeps

so just tell me what to do please?

something so simple as a good bye is all i need

to move across the bay and be okay

but for some reason you dipped your hands in holy water

and washed it all away

because you never knew what you wanted

but i tried and tried to give and give

every cent and sweat i parted

with for a girl as beautiful as you

but i was hypnitized

by your beautiful lies

and empty promises just like i knew they were

but for some reason you could let yourself be the bad guy

dash me once sham on you

dash me twice aim for this perfect wrist too

because i was a fool the whole time

letting me know every step of the way

but at least i was happy

for a time now and then

but the high i was on is nothing like what i am ment to have

because its written in the stars

that my name will be in lights

sold out local late night bars

are better than all the nights

i ever spent wasting

my thoughts on her

because i knew the day would come

that you would say we are through

i got something to tell you

it fades away

washed clean by time

a fresh restart and a focused mind

and a steady hand

make sure you get the beat right

and dont be holding on too tight

but i will never lose everything

just all that you ment to me

what we shared, our history

will fade into the memories

but will seep through the cracks

upon my aching back

and bring me too my knees

before crumbling

someone patch me through i need it a quick

a fast paced docter with an evil twitch

hands me the formulaic foundation

for everything i seek in life

and after a while,

I thought that I’d think

of all the mistakes, that we ever made

and after all I accept your apolige

————————————-

 I waited so long

 for the stupid love songs

 to pour right out of me,

 pour right out of me.

——————————

after all the heartbreak

 after every time,I thought I could talk to you

with my head held high,

and my heart not showing through

——————————————————

I was left on the ground

 in the dust of this old town,

you left me alone

to sink inside myself

———————————————-

I looked over you,

and I thought that I knew

 for the first time in my life what i was getting into

——————————————————-

 how come all the time

 I close my eyes

 I  see a portriat painted by you ,

 I wish you could see what I do.

—————————————————-

 look past those eyes

 and see the truth in everything,

 I hope that you know

 i am not me anymore

—————————————————

 after five months

 everything fell apart,

 not just you, not just this heart,

 but the world around me in the dark.